Saturday, December 13, 2014

Nosey naa, inquisitive yes

To be able to understand the inner working of things. Everything. I have to see how everything works. Not to be nosey but to figure out how things work. To understand everything. To get a clearer frame of mind on how things work out. My mind often wanders, just trying to see What makes things tick. Always been built that way, forever have a need for knowledge. Always need to see how everything gets meshes together. To become the way it is. I'm a weirdo, I know. That makes me different from everybody else. I tried for a long time to fit into everybody else stereotypical version only to realize that I was born to stand out, to truly fit in. To simply be myself. I tried to be somebody else rather than just being myself. That shit really didn't work for me, I can only be, only be just simply me. I always even as a kid wanted to know What was, What cld hv bn. I always tried to figured out why rather than just leaving it all alone. My mind races too much entirely to leave well enough alone. There are still questions to be asked and answered. I always thought I was simply too weird to fit in, rather than standing out as I seem normally inclined to be.

Monday, December 8, 2014

My Life: Who would like to help and be a blessing to me?

My Life: Who would like to help and be a blessing to me?: I am reaching out out to everyone and sharing my story for the christmas holiday I am not the type of person to ask for help. However I am ...

Who would like to help and be a blessing to me?

I am reaching out out to everyone and sharing my story for the christmas holiday I am not the type of person to ask for help. However I am hoping that people really want to be a blessing to me. Life gets hard at times however I just have to have faith that the Lord will work everything out.I have to believe, even if I have faith thesize of a mustard seed. I am a single parent who has multiple sclerosis which makes it hard for me to do everyday things, including work.  I have a Go Fund Me acct Help me please, thank you.

http://gofundme.com/msmatara
 

P.S. Any help is appreciated, thank you again, God Bless

Saturday, December 6, 2014

I clearly don't understand

I am having the damnedest time getting some understanding. I feel so lost. I do not want to feel like I have No faith in the Lord however I feel like I keep hitting my head against a brick wall. I have yet to understand my life. I feel stupid because I keep going through so much and I keep getting cut off from any help. I clearly didn't understand why. When in fact, I was looking the wrong way, barking up the wrong tree. However I just have to have faith in the Lord and know he won't steer me wrong. They say that you will keep reliving the same situations until you get it, until you understand your mistake and until you change your way of thinking, changing your mind. Some situations aren't as easy to get, aren't as easy to understand or get the gist of and it takes a little bit longer to go through. And during that time you are clueless and wondering which way to go. You can often ask God why is this happening to me?  Why do I continue to go through the same situation, why these situations keep repeating themselves, why I keep reliving them or why life is a continuing time give me the same instances?  You have to stop and think about everything that you go through and figure out what works best for you and move forward accordingly. Learning how to move forward in the right way that works best for you is what needs to be done. I am beginning to do just that and moving forward is what is best for me.