A day of pain

So my body is in pain... Again. It seems as if my body is and has become dependant on these pain medications to help me function as a normal person. This saddens me at times because I feel like my body can't function with out any medication. It will start with a slow pinch of pain and then turn into a large throb in certain parts of my body. Right now it is my wrist and it is slowly growing up my arm. There is a constant pain in my right leg/ankle and that also grows into something larger than what it started out being. It is very cold outside and where we live it is rather chilly inside ofy place. They don't understand how certain temperatures affect my body. The right side of my right foot seems to always be numb to the touch. Having a part of your body stay numb is very weird. Meanwhile my right hand/wrist is in pain. I just ate a bowl of soup to calm my aching throat. I woke up to a sore throat and can't wait to get rid of this sore throat and feel better. Going through all of these issues here because of this cold weather

I am in such a personal space right now. I can't be disturb or thrown off and not finish what I started.But now my mission is clea

rer and I have to remember that all goals have a time stamp. I wanted to write is book for sometime and I had so much to say, to express. I held so much anger and bitterness in my heart for the people who hurt on misuse me. But why hold on to the crap from other people. They most definitely are not stopping their lives because they hurt me. They choose to keep on living and functioning the way that they do. I have chosen to move on with my life, cry a few tears and keep doin me, regardless to how others feel my life should be. Yes I get hurt but I must move on ans simply stay in a happier place. Thanksgiving was an emotional holiday for me. I finally got a chance to let her know how I felt, is all that mattered. Sitting behind bars being for even accused of the crime that I was accused of for a profit won't ever sit right in my heart. And to have your own family accuse you of such horrific things for a monetary gain is the worst feeling in the world. It still saddens my heart to remember the pain that I felt at that time. Sitting there and feeling helpless is the worst I've ever felt in my life. I have a copy of every lie that was told, every word that was spoken against and can read it as much as I want but chose not because it is not the easiest to stay out of bad feelings. I just chose to be honest with myself first and figure out how to deal with my feelings later.

Cold!!

So over all of this snow. I mean it is beautiful and all but so darn cold!! You have to smile at it because falling snow is so nice to look at but the coldness of it, to be outside in the midst of the cold is nothing nice. This cold weather puts me in a bad mood but because it is so wonderful to be alive you can't help but see the beauty in it.

Mack Wilds - Own It