Really?

You thought that I cldnt tell, you thought that I was looking at life through rose colored glasses, only I see everything so clearly only choosing to simply watch and not speak. Holding my tongue has bn something that I have learned to do. Not divulging my secrets, not letting everyone else know what my plans are is my plan only because, what would I gain from letting the world in on my very private thoughts. A friend of mine posted about everybody that could meet him and be at a very public place for everybody to just hang out. I actually like this idea. The days of staying in staying in and bein an introvert has passed.  Being able to get out,  mixing,  mingling and getting to know others is such a great idea. Being able to be around others is something to do nowadays. I am learning to do just that. I am living life and loving it. 

What am I supposed to do?

How am I supposed to live life? What do I need to do to get ahead? Sunday is the day of my class picnic. Do I go? Should I stay home? I want to go but often I feel ashamed. Not being able to keep up with everything that my classmates are doing,  unable to keep up with how everybody else's lives are going, is a hassle to me. Often times I want to break down but because people make me happy, I try to stay in a happy place. My class just want me to go to the picnic regardless of the fact that I don't have any money or nothing to contribute. I feel so bad, I feel so down because most guys look at me and think that "Oh I'm So Sexy, Oh Im so cute" But don't wanna help me. And if I have to ask, I don't want to beg. And if I hv to beg, I feel that it is beyond anything.