My life, it hurts

As I sit here today. I am sad. I feel that no one cares, I feel that no one truly loves me. Well in my family they don't. And that is a disappointment to me. I can't go to my mother. Everytime I try, I get met with damaging words. She may not mean it the way that it comes out but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I often feel alone. All I have to hold on to is my kids. I know that they do truly love me. So I try not to mess up my relationship with them. A lot of times, I smile because that is what I am used to doing, covering up my feelings, masking the pain that I feel. I get what I need from who I need ot from. God makes sure that I smile daily. He knows what I need.