Often lost

Life isn't always fare but we Gotta live it to the max. This grieving process that I have to go through isn't easy. Stomach still in knots, having irrational thoughts to comfort me. All I know is that I am ready for this all to be over with, grieving and the way my stomach is in knots is definitely over rated. Because this brings back all of the thoughts and words that came to mind at the time. I am trying to get passed these hard times and feel better about the entire situation. I am not shedding tears any more however; still feeling this way as if I lost some one so important to my life. I can laugh, smile and remininise about our good times but I can not bring back  person who left this earth so abruptly. 

Grief

      In the pit of my stomach is a knot. The circumstances surrounding the knot in my stomach weighs heavy on my heart. I have been dealt a blow and I feel like I can't handle  all of the blows was that I keep getting dealt. Another life was cut short, another person made their way out of my life. The circumstances surrounding his death were inevitable for his and I am miserable because it. I never like to say goodbye to the people that I feel are supposed to be there. It is too hard to say goodbye, I never want people to leave even if aren't in my life daily. I stay in denial because I want people to stay forever.